Trick or treat

Halloween confessing
Scott Hilburn 2010
The Argyle Sweater

You know you are too old to trick or treat when:

  1. You get winded from knocking on the door.
  2. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
  3. You ask for high fiber candy only.
  4. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
  5. People say «Keith Richards’ mask.» And you’re not wearing a mask.
  6. When the door opens you yell «Trick or …» And you can’t remember the rest.
  7. By the end of the night you have a bag full of restraining orders.
  8. You have to carefully choose a costume that won’t dislodge your hairpiece.
  9. You are the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.

And the number one reason Seniors should not go Trick or Treating:

  1. You keep having to go home to pee.

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