The Al-Gebra Movement

Weapons of math destruction
Fuzzy math salesman
by Bob Bonhom

At New York’s Kennedy airport today, an individual who was later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested while trying to board a flight while carrying a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said she believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. The FBI is charging him with carrying weapons of math instruction.

“Al-gebra is a fearsome cult,” the Attorney General said. “They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like ‘x’ and ‘y’ and refer to themselves as ‘unknowns’, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, ‘there are 3 sides to every triangle’.”

When asked to comment on the arrest, the President said, “If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, God would have give us more fingers and toes.”


I have been able to trace this back to 2003. I have chosen to use a version without names of former or present political persons. A site that provides you with Algebra funnies is: “Finding the Funny in Algebra“.

There are some really great cartoons at Weapons of Math Destruction and at Today’s Cartoon.

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