True story reported by an British guy who was stopped and asked to give a breathalyzer test.
The British guy lives near Le Bugue in the Dordogne and at the time he was stopped he was as pis*ed as a fart…
The gendarme signals to him to wind down the window then asks him if he has been drinking, and with a slurring speech the British guy replies;
‘Yes, this morning I was at my (hic)..daughter’s wedding, and as I don’t like church much I went to the cafe opposite and had several beers.’
‘Then during the wedding banquet I seem to remember downing three great bottles of wine; (hic)… a corbieres, a Minervois and (hic)…a Faugeres.’
‘Then to finish off during the celebrations…. and (hic) during the
evening …me and my mate downed two bottles of Johnny Walker’s black label.’
Getting impatient the gendarme warns him; ‘Do you understand I’m a policeman and have stopped you for an alcohol test’? The Brit, with a grin on his face, replies; ‘Do you understand that I’m British, like my car, which is right-hand-drive, and that my wife is actually sitting in the other seat, which is the one behind the steering wheel?’
A newly married couple were looking for a home in the country and after finding one that was suitable returned home. The young wife after reaching home happened to thing that she had not noticed a water closet in the place and decided to write the owner about it. Being very modest she hesitated to spell out the words “water closet” in her letter so referred to it as W.C. The owner did not readily understand what she meant and after pondering a while decided she meant Westerly Church and answered:
I regret very much the delay in answering your letter and take great pleasure in informing you that the WC is located 9 miles from the house and is capable of seating 1450 people.
This is very fortunate especially if you are in the habit of going regularly.
But it will interest you that many people bring their lunch
and make a day of it while others who cannot spare the time go via auto and arrive just in time but generally are in too big a hurry to wait, that is if the place is crowded.
The last time my wife and I went was six years ago and we had to stand all the time. You may also be interested to know that it was planned to hold a bazaar to provide plush seats for the W.C. as they have for a long time been wanted. I might state that it pains us very much to be unable to go quite frequently. It is surely through no lack of desire but as we grow older it seems more of an effort particularly in the cold.