Holidays | humanitysdarkerside

“Hey,” I said. “Don’t I get a backpack?”

“No, boss,” said Snix. “You get something better. You’re the commander of this operation, so you, uh …” He looked around and then picked up something from under the driver’s seat of the Camaro. “You get this special Inter-Modal Communications Module. With it, you can monitor and direct our incursion.”

He handed me what looked like an espresso cup.

“This looks like an espresso cup,” I said.

“It’s designed to look like that,” said Snix. “Camouflage, boss. It’s all about camouflage. Okay, men. Are you ready?” (Christopher Bunn)

Hilarious and irreverent short-story about Santa and the elves.

Bryce didn’t see the string attached to a fishing hook which Noah had hid, with the direction of Samuel, under his drinking glass. He looked at Brooklyn and said, “You dipped your hair in your gravy again.”

Brooklyn squealed, looking down at her hair and examining it for food. When Bryce had his full attention on Brooke’s hair Noah quickly slipped the fishing hook into the wrist cuff of the head elf’s button up shirt. Bryce didn’t notice nor did anyone else.

“Well it looks like I was wrong.” Noah chuckled at his own genius. Well, technically it was Samuel’s genius. Keeping the string loose, he waited until Bryce was about to lift a spoonful of mashed potatoes to his mouth. That was when he held the string tight so that Bryce had to pull extra hard to lift his hand.

When Bryce pulled harder on his hand, confused at the resistance, the string broke and he quite literally punched himself in the face with a spoon of potatoes. He was not amused. Luckily, Noah was faster than Bryce. …